CUL-DE-SAC

During the great sickness we stand in line at grocery stores, especially Trader Joe’s where there is rarely not a line. They fear if we’re too crammed into their space we’ll give each other Covid-19.

I was in line one day shortly before 9 a.m. but it seemed strange because the store was clearly open and the line was not moving. People would come out of the store and none in line would be let in.

The sign I must have missed

Then a woman approached me and said, ‘Are you in the senior line?’ It was a funny question since the other people in line were clearly NOT seniors. In fact, I didn’t know what she was talking about.

The woman went up to the Trader Joe’s maitre d’ who was standing outside the entry door. He nodded his head and sent her inside. I decided to make an inquiry and I learned that seniors had carte blanche on the place from 8 to 9.

‘You can go in,’ he said. That kind of pissed me off. How does he know I’m a senior?

What’s a senior? I asked, then learned that it was anyone 60 or older. I barely qualified, but I did qualify. I wondered why they didn’t card people. You card people if you think they’re too young to buy alcohol. How did he know I wasn’t actually 58 and was just lying so I could get in ahead of everyone in line?

He knew because people who are getting on in life don’t want to claim they’re older or pretend that they’re older. People who are young do want to claim the’re older, not just so they can buy booze but so they can enjoy greater status and respect. By the time you’re my age being older is something you dread, not desire.

But I took the chit and went in to gather bread and wine with the other old folks as the young and waited outside.

I work at a radio-TV station located on a college campus. It’s got a big staff and there are two people I’m thinking of. One is a man that’s an editor who’s been in journalism for a long time. The other is a female student employee. They both say Gotcha.

You know what I’m talking about. I tell them what I think about something, and they say Gotcha.

I’m not saying they give me a big exclamatory “Gotcha!!” They both say it in a sober, serious manner to tell me they get me. But Gotcha is a funny thing to say. Kind of old-fashioned, like something you’d hear from some colorful old codger. But the gal who says it to me is 21 years old.

The one thing I know these two people have in common is they’re from Kansas. He’s from Kansas City and she’s from a little town in the north-central part of the state. I thought maybe this could explain it. But then I was listening to a podcast of the show RadioLab, which is produced in New York.

The host was listening to the response of a guest on the show. The guest was done making her point. Gotcha, he said.

I actually looked up the guy’s bio on the show’s website, and he wasn’t from Kansas. It says he grew up mostly in Tennessee, and maybe that’s kind of like Kansas.

When I lived in Minnesota they’d answer in the affirmative by saying, You Betcha. You could compound the term by saying ‘Yah sure, you betcha’ or ‘You betcha, by golly.’

Maybe it’s just a part of the American language to take the word ‘you’ and turn it into ‘cha’ when the previous word ends with a T. And I guess we should make the most of it.

I heard that big dog bitcha. I knew he was gonna gitcha.

You should stay away from dogs like that.

Gotcha.